Dirty Little Secret
by CaughtByWind
Summary: When Stark starts to ask Clint about his relationship with Natasha and she finds out, things get messy and the Widow wants revenge. So she and the Hawk decide to mess with Tony's head a little. No flames and please review! The rating has been changed due to some adult themes. No smut though.
1. Chapter 1

**Um hey guys! I decided that it was time to write an Avengers story. I may change the rating since I plan on adding smut. This is a Blackhawk story so I guess its cannon? Would somebody please tell me if it is or not? Thanks! **

**Disclaimer: I cannot possibly own the Avengers, because it is owned by Marvel, therefore this is pointless.**

Tony POV

You know what I hate? I hate when I try to be nice to someone, and they get mad at me. I mean seriously! For instance, just a few minutes ago I decided to be my fabulous self and make Natasha coffee. She and the rest of the Avengers are currently up in Stark towers and are bored out our minds. So I spent 15 minutes making a perfect cup of coffee and when I handed it to her she proceeded to flip it out of my hand and smash it to the ground. Thank you Natasha, now I need a new $1000.00 suit from my grandmother. Oh wait my grandmother is dead! So anyways, here I am "pouting" as she put it. Well she said it like this:

"Stark! I hate coffee! Ugh! Why can't you do anything right?!" So I said:

"Someones PMSing. Is it that time of the month?"

I know bad idea but I couldn't help it. Then she glared at me and kicked me in the balls. So I started crying. And praying that I could still have children. She told me to stop pouting like a baby and be a man. Well, thanks to you Natasha I don't know if thats possible.

I have been on the couch laying down for the last half an you with an ice pack where no ice pack should ever be.

I hear footsteps and crane my head to see who it is. I reflexively cover my crotch and hear a chuckle come from the other side of the room. Its Hawkeye. Now I feel ridiculous.

"Hey Legolas. Do you know whats up with Spidey? She injured me severely, and I don't think I will be able to do um certain 'things' with Pepper if its not fixed soon."

"Well, I certainly see your problem. Tip: Wear a cup when your around Natasha. It comes in handy." I groan. As I try to get up I get a sharp pain in- well you know where. Clint laughs.

"Wow, she really got ya didn't she? Don't worry you'll get used to it." I groan again. I decide to change the topic. "So, how are things with you a Ms. Cobwebs going? You and her are pretty tight right?" I cross my fingers for effect.

"Things are great, I guess. Same as always. She's got my back I got hers. She's the best friend I-" "No, no. Not that. I mean how are things going? As in, are things getting more progressive? Are you getting a little action from the Widow? Eh, eh?" Clint looks at me with one eyebrow raised.

"Now what exactly makes you think that things are like that between myself and Natasha?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I have a feeling. Your the only one she opens up to. Maybe theres a dirty little secret behind that?" He rolls his eyes and mutters under his breath.

"Hey Stark? You might want to keep that ice on a little longer." I look at him. "What? Why?" Note to self: Don't ever get under a Legolas' skin or else you might get kneed in a place that has already been damaged once. Severly. "Ow.. Mommy?" I wheeze and then I blacked out.

**I have just edited this chapter thanks to Bookdancer and I will edit more if I need to. Please review and favorite!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two! hope you enjoy and review, PM, constructive criticism if nessacary and i will luv you! **

**Disclamer: The Avengers aren't mine *_***

Natasha POV

I am in such a bad mood today. Why? Well because Thor woke me up informing me that the 'strange machine in the kitchen had gone from 2:59 AM all the way to 3:00 AM.' Why he was in the kitchen staring at a microwave at 3:00 in the morning I don't know. All i do know is that I only got 3 hours of sleep!

Then I got up and mad myself some tea. I hate coffee. Its bitter and gross. But when I made the tea I bumped into the kitchen counter and spilled it all over me.

So I took a shower. Problem with that was last night Tony took a 20 minutes shower and ran out of all the hot water.

Then at 6:30 AM when I am finally sane Tony freaking Stark decides to bring me a freaking cup up freaking coffee! I hate coffee! So I spilled the coffee all over him and kicked him in the balls. Problem solved.

So now here I am watching Family Guy in the living room with Thor and Steve. I love watching TV with them because they both always look so confused. Its ridiculous. Thor scrunches up his eyes and cocks his head and Steve squints and bites his lip. I almost feel bad for them. Especially Steve, I mean if you think about it, he's been through a lot. He woke up from being stuck in a giant icicle and then has all of the shit thrown in his face. If I were him I would have been driven mad. Thor on the other hand came here from a world run by magic. His problem is figuring out why we have to press buttons on the remote control to change channels instead of just shooting lightning at it to make it run on some kind of turbo power or something.

I hear footsteps coming closer to me and I crane my neck to see who it is. Its Clint and he has an angry expression on his face. I immediately rise from the couch, but Steve and Thor are to busy figuring out how to turn up the volume and they don't notice.

I fall next to Clint and wait for him to speak. Its always like this. We walk a little farther until we reach Clint's bedroom. He opens the door and steps inside. I follow him. And sit down on the bed next to him. "Damn you Stark!" he says. I wait once more until Clint calms down. "He asked me some very interesting questions." I wait for him to continue. "He wanted to know about me and you." I was confused. "Well what did you say? You told him we were friends right?" "Natasha. He wasn't talking about friendship." My eyes widened and my hands clenched. "What exactly did he say?" I hissed. "He said and I quote: 'How are things going? As in, are things getting more progressive? Are you getting a little action from the Widow? Eh, eh?'" I shot up. "I AM GOING TO KILL STARK!"

**Okay so i know it was pretty short and I'm sorry about that. please review your thoughts and constructive criticism. luv ya! choi**


	3. AN: UPDATES IMPORTANT

AN: IMPORTANT

**Thank you to all of my reviewers! A guest reviewer told me to update soon so I did. If your reading this and you know who you are then thank you and I will try to help you with asking Marvel about Clintasha. I also thank Bookdancer for constructive criticism it was helpful and to everyone who wanted me to change the format I did. Now for updating, Ive decided Im going to update every 4 days so I have time for reviews and PM. Speaking of which PMs are always welcome. Don't forget this story and review your thoughts!**


	4. Chapter 3

**Okay Chapter 4 I think? i have know Idea. But please review, and PM me. Luv ya**

**Disclamer: There is no need for this**

Clint POV

Wow. Natasha does not like Stark right now. At all. To prove that she threw a chair a the wall. Actually she threw 3 chairs at the wall. And a vase.

There goes another one.

"Natasha." I sigh. She pretends not to hear me. "Natasha." I say a bit louder. Again silence.

Well if you count the sound of glass breaking silence, that is.

"Natasha!" I almost shout. She glares at me.

"What!"

I put my hands up in self defense. "Okay, you need to calm down-"

"I will not calm down! Did you hear what he said about us? I mean what the hell was that?" She screeches. Then her face seems to lose a bit of its angry expression which is replaced by what seems to be a bit of realization. "Clint? How would you like to get a little revenge?"

-Time Lapse-

(Still Clint POV)

How did I get dragged into this? Oh yeah because if I didn't I would as she put it: "Wake up with one less vital organ."

Yeah, she loves me.

I really don't want to do this. At all. Making out with Nat would be like making out with my sister. And yes I did say that. Natasha's plan is to give Stark what he wants, and by that she means to act like were 'friends with benefits' or whatever. So right now we are supposed to wait until Stark comes into the hallway and then... he finds us.

I think its a bit extreme. But honestly Im a little mad to. Ive definitely cooled down though. But ever since Tony asked me the stupid question, he's been trying to get proof that we are together.

If you are confused, and wondering how long its been since it happened, it was 2 weeks ago. So yes Natasha has been ruining Peppers antique furniture for exactly 14 days now.

Stark has been prying around, setting up Jarvis in my bedroom, even following me into different rooms, trying to see what I was doing.

I know what your thinking. What a stalker. So thats the only reason (other than the fact that I could wake up without an arm) that I agreed to do this. We chose this hallway because I know that Stark set up ,like, 10 cameras here, calling it 'a great make out place'. Well I guess he was right.

I hear light footsteps entering the hallway. I grab onto Nat's waist. They get closer and closer and when I can them clearly I smash Natasha's lips to mine.

Oh my god, I can not believe that I am kissing Natahsa. Just I can't tell if she's good or bad. Id guess good because I lick her lower lip, asking for permission to enter. Of course I was granted access. The footsteps stopped and I thought we had got him.

Instead when we turned around, we found a very stiff, very pale Steve. His cheeks started to get very red and he cursed under his breath. "I-I uh, S-sorry. Uh." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Its okay Steve. We thought you were Stark." said Natasha. He got a confused look on his face. "Why would it matter if I was Stark or not?" He asked. We explained what we were doing and he laughed a lot, especially the parts where Stark got kicked where it counts.

He promised he wouldn't tell, but we both knew we couldn't do the same thing twice. We had to take this to a higher level.

**And... done! Yay! So what did you think? Review. And I have a request. If you want to, PM me on what you think they are going to do next. I might answer but only if you are correct. K luv ya. Choi**


	5. Chapter 4

**I had to rewrite this whole chapter because literally I was typing the words: and done. then my computer died. So of course nothing saved and its just my luck. Anyways if you are keeping up with my story called What I Never Thought About then I would like to inform you that I will be updating tomorrow but not today. Okay, luv ya**

****Tony POV

I wonder what Clint and Natasha are doing? Or more like I wonder what Clint and Natasha are doing, together.

If you know what I mean.

Ever since I had my little chat with the Hawkeye, I knew something was up with him. When we talked about his relationship with Black Widow he went all rigid.

I needed to know what was going on between them. I had set up JARVIS everywhere. Literally.

I even labeled the areas where I placed the cameras to represent what resident Blackhawk would be doing there. For instance:

"JARVIS, show me whats going on in Makeout Hallway." I say.

The screen flickers to life. Its fuzzy though and no footage is shown.

"JARVIS, whats happening to your camera lens?" I ask, worried.

"Sir, it seems that the cameras in Makeout Hallway are broken and are unable to show any footage." It replies in its robotic voice. 'What!' I think. This means someone destroyed each of my $700 cameras? What if it was a robber! They could have stolen my lab tools.

They could still be here.

Then again, we have a Thor, and a Hulk. I think were good.

"My babies!" I cry.

"Who did this?!" I ask the computer.

"It appears that Ms. Natasha Romanov and Clint Barton were responsible for the damage. But I cannot be sure, seeing as how I cannot revive any of the footage shot with the cameras." It replies in monotone.

Im suddenly angry. "What! Why?" I demand.

"Sir, Im sorry Im not sure."

Then suddenly my face turns into a grin.

If Clint and Natasha didn't want the things on the cameras to be seen by anyone, then that means...

I think Ive finally caught them.

**Yay Im done! Please don't shut down computer! Review, PM, and I will love you x10! Luv ya. Choi**


	6. Chapter 5

**Okay and heres the next chapter! I think I got the idea from a Steve/Natasha story, that I thought was hilarious. I can't find it but I will tell you if I do. If you have read it before you can tell me the name in a review. Tell me if this should be rated M. I don't think so because its not really smut. But if you think so tell me and if a lot of people think so I will change the rating.**

Natasha POV

Well, that was a waste of a good plan.

The only fun part was breaking the cameras! Well, also kissing Clint was pretty fun to.

But I would never, ever tell that to him. I think.

Anyways, thanks to Steve freaking Rogers we have to do that all over again!

Not that Im complaining. I have to admit, Clint Barton is an amazing kisser.

Again, not that I will ever tell that to him.

You know, this is starting to get interesting. I mean of course, Im still mad at Tony for asking if Clint and I have sex, but I am starting to have fun with this you know?

But anyways, now that we busted our first plan, Clint and I have decided to take this to another level of... sexiness?

Yeah, I bet I know what your thinking.

And you better get your head out of the gutter! Clint and I are not going to have real sex!

And yes I said _real_, as in were going to have fake sex.

Now, I will say this is not my idea, nor do I agree to doing it. But Clint says quote: "Stark thinks were playing dirty? Then we should play dirty."

I of course was appalled. No, Im just messing I was actually about to laugh. Clint Barton, Hawkeye, wants to have _revenge sex_ with me?

No way in hell.

Kissing is about as far as I will go with him. Just the thought of doing... that. With Clint! Sure tons of stupid sluts practically drape themselves over him, but me? Never in a million years.

Try to imagine _your _brother asking you to have sex with him! Well, not that Clint is my brother, but you get the point.

So anyways, here we are locked in Clints room, waiting for Stark. And this time it WILL be Stark, because I put a whole in the door with my foot.

I heard footsteps near the door. I looked out.

It was Tony.

"Alright. You ready to put on a show?" I ask Clint in a shaky voice.

He nods with an unwavering smile.

"Here goes nothing." I say.

"Ohhh Clint! Right there thats it!" I say with a fake moan.

"You like that Natasha? Well how about this?" He says and bangs on his bed. Another fake moan from me.

"Please! I need you now!" I beg, while rolling my eyes.

He smirks. "Ohhhh! Your so tight!" He says. I look at him glaring. He seems to be enjoying this.

Bastard.

"I think Im gonna-"

"Me too!" We 'cry'.

By now the footsteps outside have stopped and I can see through the hole that Stark is standing by the door.

We get up and make it obvious that we are going to leave the room. We hear Stark scamper away from the door.

When we leave the room I look over at my shoulder, and see a white Tony, smirking.

Hah, I cant wait to see what he does.

**Yay! Im done. I hope that wasnt to um... graphic. Sorry. If you think it was tell me in the reviews and I will change it. Okay. Bye! Luv ya. Choi**


	7. an: I'm so super sorry

hai! Don't give me that look I know Ihaven't updated in a looooonnnnng time but I have a reason thank you ver much.I was on a 3 week long vacation in Miami andunfortunately had no wifi except for on my iPhone which I cannot update with. Buuuuuuttttt I am back now and will update tommorow night hopefully and that means al of my fics will be updated. So yes I am soooo sorry please don't be mad Ishave baked u all virtual I'm super sorry cookies so please keep reading!

Thank you!

CaughtByWind


	8. Chapter 6

**Hai! Yes I knowits been a while... but I am back! Yay! Luv ya**

****Tony POV

I just stood there.

Just stood there.

What did I just witness?

I-I have no words for that. Wh-what... I-I... Ugh.

Well, at least I can tell Steve I told you so. For some reason he doesnt believe me when I say I have real evidence of them together.

I dont know why though.

Well, at least now I REALLY know that they are together.

Ugh.

I feel like I just watched a horrible sex video.

These two are going to be the death of me. I swear.

The most annoying thing though was that they acted like they didnt even notice me when they walked out.

Probably to busy thinking about where they can makeout.

Wait!

That means I can get more evidence!

"JARVIS set up cameras everywhere that Barton and Romanov go." I say, and start to follow them down the hallway that they left down.

I tiptoe silently down the corridors until I hear voices.

"Haha the look on his face! Priceless!" It sounded like Clint.

"I know! He was frozen! Haha!" Yup that was Natasha. What are they talking about?

Or rather who?

"Man, we really got Stark this time."

Wait-what?

What are they talking about? When did th-

No.

No.

No I refuse to believe-

No way.

"Yeah, I know. Wow, he really is an idiot though." I scoff.

"I am not!" I whisper to myself.

Then the laughing stops.

"Did you hear that?" Asks Natasha.

"Yeah it sounded like a voice." She says. I freeze and flatten myself against the wall.

I squeeze my eyes shut and pray to Thor that I make it out okay.

I open my eyes.

"Eeeeeeeh!" I screech.

"Hehe, hey Natasha, whats up Legolas?" I say, but I can hear the nervousness in my voice.

"Were you spying?" Asks Natasha.

"Me, spying? No no. I know nothing about you tricking me into THINKING YOU GUYS HAD SEX!" I yell, trying to sound angry. I failed.

"Stark, I have three rules. One, no lying to me. Two, no yelling at me. And three, no spying on me. And you just broke all of them. So guess what? Your gonna pay... Clint you know what to do." She says.

That was the last thing I heard before I blacked out.

**Yeah, yeah. It was short. I know. Sorry. But I still luv ya! Choi!**


End file.
